Today I am 36 weeks and 1 day pregnant and scared to death. I honestly thought I would be the pregnant lady that would be cool as a cucumber and be sitting on ready. However, I am not. I am scared, nervous, and anxious.
I'm scared that I'm not as brave and strong as I think I am. I haven't told a ton of people this, but my plan is to go through labor naturally. I don't want any drugs, I just want to do it on my own and know that I can really do this. But, my brain is screaming "YOU ARE INSANE!!!"
I'm nervous that I don't really know what to do with an infant. I have my BS is child development and can rattle off all kinds of interesting information on child rearing and education, but not mothering. I want the best for Jerry and I want everything to be perfect. Is that even possible?
I'm so anxious that I won't know when labor has actually started. About a week or so ago I started having some pretty good braxton hicks contractions and they honestly make me uneasy. A "WTH is that?" kind of feeling. My poor friends are being inundated with texts and emails of "what is this?" "is this normal?" I know this is all part of it, but whoa, am I ready?
I know I can do this, I know I will be a good mother and I know our house is ready, but I'm just so nervous. Who knew, huh?
I'm scared that I'm not as brave and strong as I think I am. I haven't told a ton of people this, but my plan is to go through labor naturally. I don't want any drugs, I just want to do it on my own and know that I can really do this. But, my brain is screaming "YOU ARE INSANE!!!"
I'm nervous that I don't really know what to do with an infant. I have my BS is child development and can rattle off all kinds of interesting information on child rearing and education, but not mothering. I want the best for Jerry and I want everything to be perfect. Is that even possible?
I'm so anxious that I won't know when labor has actually started. About a week or so ago I started having some pretty good braxton hicks contractions and they honestly make me uneasy. A "WTH is that?" kind of feeling. My poor friends are being inundated with texts and emails of "what is this?" "is this normal?" I know this is all part of it, but whoa, am I ready?
I know I can do this, I know I will be a good mother and I know our house is ready, but I'm just so nervous. Who knew, huh?
You are going to be a fantastic mother, and you want to know why.... Because all of the fears you have right now, all of the worries you have had over the last couple of years, they will make you the best mother Jerry could have ever hoped for. You want to do such a great job, and because of that you will never give up and will always do your best to make him happy and keep him healthy. Your best, is all he needs, and we will be here to support you.
ReplyDeleteI am so proud of you, and will be waiting anxiously by the phone every day until this precious boy is here. Good luck with the natural delivery, you can do it!!!!